Scary

So I love blogging! It is fun to see what you are all up to! I love to leave comments to let you know that I care. Sorry that I haven't done so this past week, I haven't been myself. I had some pretty major anxiety attacks this past week or so. It was really scary. I have never felt like that before. My heart was doing this weird thing, that is really hard to explain. It's still doing it, but barely. I felt crappy..etc. etc. etc. I went to the dr. on Tuesday to see what was going on. They did all my vitals, they were normal. He listened to my heart, he said it was normal. He put me back on my Depression/anxiety medicine. I didn't want to go back on it, but I knew that I needed to. I had had enough.
So what put me into anxiety depression mode? A lot. General conference really got to me. It was so good, but we need to be prepared. I don't feel prepared and it really scares me. Matt working graves is really hard on me. I feel like a single parent, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. All I wanted to do was sit infront of the computer and do nothing else. I didn't want to be a mother, I know that's sad, but that is how i felt. I was angry. Oh yeah not to mention the fact that i was having pregnancy symptoms. I was like great. Not now. I'm so not ready for that yet. I know that stress can cause those kinds of symptoms, so I had also mentioned that to my doc. He wants me to take a pregnancy test in the next couple of weeks. Well now I'm pretty sure that I'm not preggo because i'm not late. I will take one next week just to make sure. Also I'm not feeling the pregnancy symptoms anymore.
I have been off of my happy pills for a little over a month. I started noticing a couple of weeks ago that I was angry, I would erupt at every little thing. I was a monster to Matt and my kids. I feel so bad. I had no patience whatsoever. Now that I'm back on them oh man what a difference! I feel so much better, I have more patience, and I'm so much nicer! For those of you that are against the happy pills, don't be. They are a great help, and you shouldn't be ashamed to use them. These past couple of weeks I have just been so exhausted from the anxiety that I have been going to bed so much earlier than I have been. What a difference that has made too! Go figure! So I'm going to continue to get good sleep, and not spend my night and days on the computer. I have done some fun things these past couple of weeks that have helped me to not think about what was going on with my heart and everything else, and I will slowly post what I have done. Thank you all so much for checking my blog, and caring about me! I love you all!