Matt's talk

For some stupid reason it wouldn't let me post Matt's talk with mine. I tried so many ways to try to get it too. I couldn't not put Matt's talk on here, he did such a great job. He even got teary eyed through it, and Matt doesn't cry easily. He got me teary. For those of you that know Matt know he is very quiet and he mumbles when he speaks fast. Well when he spoke in church he was loud, clear, and precise, totally not like him. Again he did an awesome job! Honey I'm so proud of you!!! You Rock! =)

Eternal Marriage

Eternal marriage is a principle, which was established before the foundation of the world. God, in the Garden of Eden, gave Adam and Eve to each other. In Gen chapter 5:1-2 it says, “In the day that God created man in the likeness of God made he him; male and female created he them, and blessed them.”
President Ezra Taft Benson stated, “Faithfulness to the marriage covenant brings the fullness of joy here and glorious rewards hereafter.”
President Howard W. Hunter describes celestial marriage as “ The crowning Gospel ordinance” and clarified that “While it might take somewhat longer (for some) perhaps even beyond this mortal life, it would not be denied to any worthy individual.”
Notwithstanding the grandeur and glory of the gift, it is not free, it is conditional, and having been given it may be withdrawn if we do not keep the conditions of the covenant, which accompanies it.
In D&C section 131 it says that in the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage.
A covenant is a sacred promise. To those who keep the covenant of marriage, God promises the fullness of his glory, eternal lives, eternal increase, exaltation in the celestial kingdom, and a fullness of joy. The scriptures seem to clearly say that at least three obligations are inherent to this covenant.
First, an eternal marriage is eternal; eternal implies continuing growth and improvement. It means that man and wife will honestly try to perfect themselves. It means that the marriage relationship is not to be frivolously discarded at the first sign of disagreement or when times get hard. It signifies that love will grow stronger with time and that it extends beyond the grave. It means that each partner will be blessed with the company of the other partner forever and that problems and differences might as well be resolved because they are not going to go away. Eternal signifies repentance, forgiveness, long-suffering, patience, hope, charity, love, and humility. All of these things are involved in anything that is eternal and surely we must learn and practice them if we want to claim an eternal marriage.



Second, an eternal marriage is ordained of God. This means that the parties agree to invite God into their marriage, to pray together, to keep the commandments, it means to be equal companions and to be just as true and pure outside the home as inside the home. That is part of what ordained of God means.
Third, Eternal marriage is a kind of partnership with God. He promises a continuation of lives to those who are sealed together in the temple. There is a oneness with the creator implied in the commandment given to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth. There is an obligation to teach children the gospel, for they are his children too. Thus we have family home evening and scripture study, gospel discussions, and service to others. There would seem to be an obligation to support and sustain each other in callings and roles that each other is given to perform.
Eternal marriage cannot be achieved without a commitment to make it work.
The Lord has revealed that marriages are to be performed in temples, both for living couples and by proxy for those who died without this opportunity.
President Gordon B. Hinkley said, ” every man who truly loves a woman and every woman who truly loves a man hopes and dreams that their companionship will last forever. But marriage is a covenant sealed by authority. If that authority is of the state alone, it will endure only while the state has jurisdiction, and that jurisdiction ends with death. But add to the authority of the state the power of the endowment given by Him who overcame death, and that companionship will endure beyond this life if the parties to the marriage live worthy of the promise.”
President Brigham Young once declared, “There is not a young man in our community who would not be willing to travel from here to England to be married right, if he understands things the way they are, there is not a young woman in our community, who loves the gospel and wishes its blessings, that would be married in any other way.”
A marriage designed to last forever will be a good marriage, growing and gracious. Sometimes the distinctive elements of the temple marriage are thought of as being exclusive in duration and authority. Everyone who comes to the temple to be married understands that the ceremony is performed by God’s authority, for time and eternity. Wonderful promises are sealed upon a man and a woman in temple marriages and the realization of the promised blessings is related directly to their understanding and keeping the solemn commitments they make to each other and the Lord. Together they enter a partnership, sharing and learning and growing. Married people should be best friends; no relationship on earth needs friendship as much as marriage. Friendship in a marriage is so important, it rejoices in the uniqueness of the other, it listens patiently, it gives generously, and it forgives freely. Friendship will motivate one to cross the room one day and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” It will not pretend perfection or demand it. It will not insist that both respond exactly the same in every thought and feeling, but it will bring to the union honesty and integrity. There will be repentance and forgiveness in every marriage- every good marriage- and respect and trust.
In a 2007 general conference talk Elder James E. Faust had this to say about Enriching Your Marriage.
Several key practices can contribute to enriching a marriage.
PRAYER- Marriage relationships can be enriched by better communication. One important way is to pray together. As Karen said in her talk that when we first got married we didn’t always pray together, and we noticed how it was affecting our lives. We would argue quite a bit. When we started praying together both day and night there was a big change. Sure, we still have an argument once in awhile but we have gotten better. Always try to resolve any differences you may have before going to sleep at night. You will wake up in the morning in a better mood.
We communicate in many different ways such as a smile, a brush of the hair, a gentle touch, we should remember every day to say, “I love you.” The husband should say to his wife, “Your Beautiful.” Listening is also an excellent way of communication.
TRUST- Complete trust in each other is one of the greatest enriching factors in a marriage. President Gordon B. Hinkley had this to say about trust in marriage, “The Lord has proclaimed that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and is intended to be an eternal relationship by trust and fidelity.”
VIRTUE- Virtue is the strong glue that holds it all together. Said the Lord, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shall cleave unto her and none else.”
TITHING- In Malachi chapter 3:10 it says,” Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there might be meat in mine house, and prove me herewith, saith the Lord of Host, if I will not open you the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” I have seen that in my life. Since Karen and I have been married we have always paid a full tithe. When we were in the Air Force our paycheck was not very much, but we still paid our tithing and by doing so we were always able to pay our bills and never went hungry.
PARENTHOOD- The soul of the marriage is greatly enriched and the spiritual growing process is greatly strengthened when a couple becomes parents. For couples that can have children, parenthood should bring the greatest of all happiness. I am so grateful for my two daughters McKenzie and Madisynn. I will never forget the days they were born. They were born exactly two years, two hours, and 2 minutes apart. I was a great experience to be there with Karen when they were born. It feels great to be a dad. Men grow because as fathers they must care for their family. Women blossom because they must forget themselves. We understand best the full meaning of love when we become parents. However, if children do not come, couples that are nevertheless prepared to receive them with love will be honored and blessed by the Lord for their faithfulness. Our homes should be among the most hallowed of all earthly sanctuaries.
In the enriching of marriage, the big things are also the small things. There must be constant appreciation for each other and thoughtful demonstration of gratitude. A couple must encourage and help each other to grow. Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine. As a husband and wife are drawn to the Lord, as they serve and cherish one another, as share life experiences and grow together and become one, and as they are blessed through the uniting of their distinctive natures, they begin to realize the fulfillment that our Heavenly Father desires for His children. Ultimate happiness, which is the very object of the Father’s plan, is received through the making and honoring of eternal marriage covenants.
As man and women, as husbands and wives, and as church leaders, on of our paramount responsibilities is to help young men and young women learn about and prepare for righteous marriage through out personal example. As young men and women observe worthiness, loyalty, sacrifice, and the honoring of covenants in our marriages, then those youth will seek to emulate the same principles in their courting and marriage relationships. As young people notice that we have made the comfort and convenience of our eternal companion our highest priority, then they will become less self-centered and more able to give, to serve, and to create an equal and enduring companionship. As young men and women perceive mutual respect, affection, trust, and love between a husband and a wife, then they will strive to cultivate the same characteristics in their lives. Our children and the youth of the church will learn the most from what we do and what we are even if they remember relatively little of what we say.
The sweet and simple doctrine of the plan of happiness provides precious eternal perspectives and helps us understand the importance of eternal marriage. We have been blessed with all of the spiritual resources we need. We have the fullness of the doctrine of Jesus Christ. We have the Holy Ghost and revelation. We have saving ordinances, covenants, and temples. We have priesthood and prophets. We have the Holy Scriptures and the power of the word of God. And we have the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am so grateful to be a member of this church. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful to be in this ward, although I would have liked to go a little longer before having to give a talk in sacrament meeting. Thank you all for helping us feel welcome. It is great to feel welcomed. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

We were asked to speak in Sacrament meeting....

So the Bishop asked us to come to his office on tuesday the 15th. We were like great we're getting callings already. Not that that is a problem or anything, we just wanted to be in the ward for a little bit before we got callings. So we went expecting to get something. The bishop is like don't worry we aren't giving you callings, I just called you in here because I wanted to get to know you guys a little bit better. A sigh of relief... oh but we were wondering would you guys like to speak on Eternal marriage on the 27th???? Sure we were so delighted to accept! So the meeting with him went great he is a very nice man, very cheerful. I like that!!! We had practically 2 weeks to prepare our talks. It always comes down to the last minute that it can be done. I was a nervous wreck. I hate to speak infront of audiences. We got it done though and we did a great job. So here are our talks if you interested in reading them. I hope you enjoy!

Karen's talk

Well first I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Karen Layton. In 1980 I was born in Logan Utah to Van and Alice Kotter. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. I am the second to youngest. I grew up in Clinton Utah spent about 16 years of my life there. I absolutely loved it, but when it came down to it I needed some change in my life. You see I was in a little bit of a rut. When my parents decided to build a home in South Jordan I was thrilled! I was ready to move!!! That was the best thing they could have ever done for me. So thank you Mom and Dad!
We moved to South Jordan in November of 2000. I started working at the Church printing division, attending the singles ward, and hanging out with friends having a blast! Some of the greatest years of my life were these! I worked with Matt’s little sister. She wanted me to write him on his mission, but I wouldn’t do it. Not much of a writer, plus he was already writing a girl. Then I met his cousins that are on his mom’s side of the family. We actually worked together at the printing center. We became really good friends. I went to their grandma and grandpa’s 50th wedding anniversary celebration, so I met Matt’s brothers and Dad. I had already met his Mom. I also met the rest of his Mom’s side of the family. I remember seeing a picture of Matt on one of the tables and thinking wow he is really good looking! It was soon after that that 2 of Matt’s cousins my friends got engaged and got married. I was thinking to myself oh no I’ve got to find new friends and find a new life. I was scared to start all over again.
Well Matt returned from his mission in Dec of 2001. He broke things off with his girlfriend. Then his Mom, his sister, and his cousins told him that he needed to call me. So he did. He called and I wasn’t there my Dad had answered the phone and took the message. He had written down that a Matt Laydin had called, and that he wanted me to call him back. I had no idea who this was, and it was driving me crazy. A boy was calling me. I thought to myself maybe he was in the singles ward. I got the ward list out and was looking through it. Nope no Matt Laydin was on the ward list. I decided that I wasn’t going to call back. I didn’t know him. So I forgot about it.
Later in the week I went to my cousin’s wedding breakfast with my Dad and apparently Matt had called again. My Mom calls my cell phone and said excitedly he called again he said that you worked with his sister Rachael. She said that I needed to get home and call him. When my Mom said Rachael, I realized my Dad had written the last name down wrong. It wasn’t Laydin it was Layton! So I got home and called him. I was nervous, but he seemed really nice when I called him back. He wanted to know if I wanted to go to his family Christmas party on his Mom’s side. I said sure. I already knew them so I shouldn’t be shy. After he called me I called his cousin Audrey up to tell her. She was excited. She told me that I should go to his mission homecoming. I wasn’t so sure it would be okay. She said it would be fine. So I decided to go.
When I walked into the chapel his Mom saw me right away. She leaned over to Matt and told him who I was. He instantly started to blush. It was really quite cute and funny. He did a great job on his talk, but he wouldn’t look at me at all through it. Afterwards they had a luncheon at his house. I went and we were properly introduced. He then avoided me the rest of the time. Then the moment came where we were forced to talk. Boy it was the lamest conversation ever. I don’t even really remember what was said. I think that we were both just very nervous.
After the homecoming and luncheon were over, Matt and his cousins decided that we should do something before the Christmas party. So I had everyone come over to my parents’ house for a dinner and game night. That night wasn’t so awkward. We had a lot of fun! The next time we would see each other would be his family Christmas party. The Christmas party went well, a little more talking than the last time between the 2 of us. I remember being so happy when I got home. In the next week or so I decided that when and if we went out again that if he didn’t talk more than he had been, then that would be the end of dating each other. Very funny thing was he talked my ear off on that date!
Matt proposed to me sometime after the New Year. I know you are all probably thinking wow that’s fast! It was fast; he really caught me off guard. I had no idea that it was even coming. Apparently he had wanted to ask me all day, but I was being difficult so he couldn’t find the right way to ask me. He finally proposed to me at his parent’s house. I had gone to the bathroom and while I was in there he put the ring in my coat pocket. When I came out I should have known something was up, but I was oblivious. His Mom asked us if we would go to the store and pick up some bread to go along with dinner for her. Matt said sure, so I got my coat on, reached into my pocket to get my gloves and felt something. I didn’t know what to do. I pulled out the ring box that was in my pocket and just looked at it. It felt like a dream. I can’t remember all the details but he got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. Of course I said yes or I wouldn’t be here today!
So we had about a 6 ½ month engagement and got married on August 2nd 2002. It was another one of the best days of my life. Matt joined the military a month after we were married and left for basic training and tech school for the next 3 months. We were stationed at Travis AFB in California. We were there for almost 4 ½ years. We met some of the best people there that became our family while we were away from ours. We have 2 little girls, McKenzie Ann who is 4, and Madisynn Kristyn who is 2. They have the same birthday, which we celebrated last week. They were both born on April 20th exactly 2 years apart. They are our pride and joy and definitely keep us on our toes. We ended up getting out of the military with a Temporary medical discharge because Matt hurt his back on the job. It’s funny when you want to do something; heavenly father has a different plan for you. We had just decided to make a career out of the military, and wouldn’t you know it that’s when Matt hurt his back. Matt was medically discharged on June 12th of 2007. We moved back to South Jordan in with my Mom, helped her to sell her home, and ended up moving to Stansbury Park. We rented a home out there for 6 months, and then we were finally able and ready to buy a home which brings us to where we are now, in the house that the Reynolds lived in. I feel like it was a good decision. I’m thankful we are here. It’s the last place I wanted to be, but the Lord knows where we need to be. I want to thank all of you for being so kind and welcoming.
Now moving along to my talk. The Bishop has asked us to speak on Eternal Marriage.
In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles proclaim that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children." When a man and woman are married in the temple, their family can be together forever. This is a common goal of Latter-day Saints.
Life's greatest joys are found in the family. Strong family relationships require effort, but such effort brings great happiness in this life and throughout eternity. In our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness, a man and a woman can be sealed to one another for time and all eternity. Those who are sealed in the temple have the assurance that their relationship will continue forever if they are true to their covenants. They know that nothing, not even death, can permanently separate them.
After receiving the sealing ordinance and making sacred covenants in the temple, a couple must continue in faithfulness in order to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and exaltation.
Those who are married should consider their union as their most cherished earthly relationship. A spouse is the only person other than the Lord whom we have been commanded to love with all our heart (see D&C 42:22).
Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither person exercising dominion over the other, but with each encouraging, comforting, and helping the other.
Because marriage is such an important relationship in life, it needs and deserves time over less-important commitments. Couples can strengthen their marriage as they take time to talk together and to listen to one another, to be thoughtful and respectful, and to express tender feelings and affection often.
Marriage partners must be loyal to one another and faithful in their marriage covenants in thought, word, and deed. The Lord has said, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else" (D&C 42:22). The phrase "none else" teaches that no person, activity, or possession should ever take precedence over the marriage relationship.
Married couples should stay away from anything that could lead to unfaithfulness in any way. Pornography, unwholesome fantasies, and flirtations will erode character and strike at the foundation of marriage.
Couples should work together to manage their finances and cooperate in establishing and following a budget. Wise money management and freedom from debt contribute to peace in the home.
Finally, couples must center their lives in the gospel of Jesus Christ. As couples help one another keep the covenants they have made, attend church and the temple together, study the scriptures together, and kneel together in prayer, God will guide them. Their companionship will sweeten through the years; their love will strengthen. Their appreciation for one another will grow.
A couple of years ago I was asked to substitute teach a lesson in Relief Society on nurturing marriage. I feel like the person that was supposed to teach was really inspired to call me. I needed to learn some things about my own marriage. I’ve realized so many things in the 5 ½ years that we have been married that we needed to work on, and that we are still working on. Marriage isn’t a piece of cake you really have to work at it to make it work. It takes 2 and the Lord to make it work. I want to share part of the relief society lesson that I taught with you.

Joe J. Christensen gave a talk entitled “Marriage and the Great Plan of Happiness,” which is found in the May 1995 Ensign. In it he gives 8 suggestions to help strengthen your marriage. I wanted to go over those points with you.

1. Remember the central importance of your marriage. Listen to these words from Elder Bruce R. McConkie on the importance of marriage in our Father in Heaven’s “great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8): “From the moment of birth into mortality to the time we are married in the temple, everything we have in the whole gospel system is to prepare and qualify us to enter that holy order of matrimony which makes us husband and wife in this life and in the world to come. … “There is nothing in this world as important as the creation and perfection of family units”

2. Pray for the success of your marriage. Years ago, when it was common for a General Authority to tour a mission and interview all the missionaries, Elder Spencer W. Kimball, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, was visiting with an elder who was just about to finish his mission. “When you get released, Elder, what are your plans?” “Oh, I plan to go back to college,” and then with a smile he added, “Then I hope to fall in love and get married.” Elder Kimball shared this wise counsel: “Well, don’t just pray to marry the one you love. Instead, pray to love the one you marry.” We should pray to become more kind, courteous, humble, patient, forgiving, and, especially, less selfish. In order to recognize our personal problems or weaknesses which hinder us from being better marriage partners, we should come to the Lord in prayer and reap the benefits of this powerful Book of Mormon promise: “If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness … ; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). And so the need to pray. Many Church leaders and marriage counselors indicate that they have not seen one marriage in serious trouble where the couple was still praying together daily. When problems arise and marriages are threatened, praying together as a couple may be the most important remedy.
There was a time in our marriage where we weren’t praying together. I feel awful about it and I could definitely tell a difference in our marriage. If we don’t include the Lord he won’t help you. It’s easier for Satin to get in and put a wedge between things. Once we realized this and started to pray again together things got better again. We always pray to make our marriage strong that we can build it and continue to love one another, and be good examples to our children. I want them to see that we have a successful marriage.
3. Listen. Make the time to listen to your spouse; even schedule it regularly. Visit with each other and assess how you are doing as a marriage partner. Brother Brent Barlow posed a question to a group of priesthood brethren: “How many of you would like to receive a revelation?” Every hand went up. He then suggested that they all go home and ask their wives how they could be better husbands. He added, “I followed my own advice, and had a very informative discussion with [my wife] Susan for more than an hour that afternoon!” This is found in September 1992 Ensign. A conversation like that could be a revelation for any of us. Have any of you brethren ever had your wife say something like I heard recently: “Joe, are you listening?” She wasn’t the only one who wondered if I was listening. Some time ago, I was taking a nap and our little granddaughter Allison came and lifted up one of my eyelids and said, “Grandpa, are you in there?” We should be “in there” and responsive to our mate.
I’m very guilty of this. There has been many times where I have tuned matt out. I didn’t even realize that I was at the time, but looking back I have definitely done that. It just seems sometimes that other things are more important than listening to your spouse. It should never be like that. Lately it’s been a real pleasure to listen to my husband. When he gets so excited about something especially. I know that I need to take this advice and listen more often.
4. Avoid “ceaseless pinpricking.” Don’t be too critical of each other’s faults. Recognize that none of us is perfect. We all have a long way to go to become as Christlike as our leaders have urged us to become. “Ceaseless pinpricking” (as President Kimball called it), can deflate almost any marriage. Generally, each of us is painfully aware of our weaknesses, and we don’t need frequent reminders. Few people have ever changed for the better as a result of constant criticism or nagging. If we are not careful, some of what we offer as constructive criticism is actually destructive. At times it is better to leave some things unsaid. As a newlywed, Sister Lola Walters read in a magazine that in order to strengthen a marriage, a couple should have regular, candid sharing sessions in which they would list any mannerisms they found to be annoying. She wrote: “We were to name five things we found annoying, and I started off. … I told him that I didn’t like the way he ate grapefruit. He peeled it and ate it like an orange! Nobody else I knew ate grapefruit like that. Could a girl be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching her husband eat grapefruit like an orange? … “After I finished [with my five], it was his turn to tell the things he disliked about me. … [He] said, ‘Well, to tell the truth, I can’t think of anything I don’t like about you, Honey.’ “Gasp. “I quickly turned my back, because I didn’t know how to explain the tears that had filled my eyes and were running down my face.” Sister Walters concluded: “Whenever I hear of married couples being incompatible, I always wonder if they are suffering from what I now call the Grapefruit Syndrome” This was in the April 1993 Ensign. Yes, at times, it is better to leave some things unsaid.
I’m very guilty of this not so much now, but a couple of years ago. I remember Matt saying you know you treat me like scum. I didn’t realize that I was making him feel that way. I got better and then when we moved back to Utah back in June it was a tough transition. I have to say the last couple of years have been the hardest years of our lives. A lot has happened and everything seemed to go wrong. I took it out on Matt. I didn’t mean too, but that’s what happened. I had been trying to change him and it wasn’t helping so it made me angrier. I hope that makes sense. We were asked to attend the Marriage and Family relations course when we first moved back. It really helped to listen to the older couples that had been married longer and have had more experience. One day I was talking to one of the ladies in the class at a Super Saturday activity. I was telling her how I enjoyed her comments. She told me that once she stopped trying to change her husband things got better. I’m grateful for her for sharing that with me. Now when I realize that I’m trying to change matt I remember her words and try to back off. It’s hard to do. I’m grateful for Bishop Banks who had asked us to attend this class a couple of weeks after we went to talk to him about our problems. He was inspired by the Lord.
5. Keep your courtship alive. Make time to do things together—just the two of you. As important as it is to be with the children as a family, you need regular weekly time alone together. Scheduling it will let your children know that you feel that your marriage is so important that you need to nurture it. That takes commitment, planning, and scheduling. It doesn’t need to be costly. The time together is the most important element. Once when my father-in-law was leaving the house after lunch to return to the field to work, my mother-in-law said, “Albert, you get right back in here and tell me you love me.” He grinned and jokingly said, “Elsie, when we were married, I told you I loved you, and if that ever changes, I’ll let you know.” It’s hard to overuse the expression, “I love you.” Use it daily.
I always say I love you to matt when he leaves, after we goodbye on the phone. I notice that when you say it like you mean it things go better, and it brings a smile to your faces. How could you not say I love you and not smile! We are guilty of not getting out and spending time alone together. I have had several people say or suggest go on a date it will rejuvenate you. I know it will help us. It feels great when we are able to go out on a date with each other without our children. It really does rejuvenate you. I want our girls to know that we love and care about each other. I don’t want them thinking goodness is watching T.V. All that Mom and Dad know how to do. It’s a goal of ours to start going on dates once we feel more settled.
6. Be quick to say, “I’m sorry.” As hard as it is to form the words, be swift to say, “I apologize, and please forgive me,” even though you are not the one who is totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses. When differences do arise, being able to discuss and resolve them is important, but there are instances when it is best to take a time-out. Biting your tongue and counting to ten or even a hundred is important. And occasionally, even letting the sun go down on your wrath can help bring you back to the problem in the morning more rested, calm, and with a better chance for resolution. Occasionally, we hear something like, “Why, we have been married for fifty years, and we have never had a difference of opinion.” If that is literally the case, then one of the partners is overly dominated by the other or, as someone said, is a stranger to the truth. Any intelligent couple will have differences of opinion. Our challenge is to be sure that we know how to resolve them. That is part of the process of making a good marriage better.
Being the one to say you are sorry is the hardest thing to do. Matt hates contention. I do too, but I am usually the one to pick a fight. There have been several times where we had been arguing and didn’t apologize to each other. I remember just being so prideful and stubborn and rolling over and crying myself to sleep and feeling so bad in the morning.. I’ve heard from several people as marriage advice to never go to bed angry. Take that advice. I’m taking it now, as stubborn as I might be. There was an instance about a month ago that we had a bad argument before we went to bed. Of course I started it. Matt got up and turned off the light to go to bed. He said I don’t want to fight with you. It made me feel so bad. I was fighting with myself about doing the right thing and apologizing to Matt. Then I started to think about that advice and I started to cry, and I apologized to him I got a good nights rest and felt better in the morning.
7. Learn to live within your means. Some of the most difficult challenges in marriage arise in the area of finances. “The American Bar Association … indicated that 89 percent of all divorces could be traced to quarrels and accusations over money” (Ensign, July 1975, p. 72). Be willing to postpone or forgo some purchases in order to stay within your budget. Pay your tithing first, and avoid debt insofar as possible. Remember that spending fifty dollars a month less than you receive equals happiness and spending fifty more equals misery. The time may have come to get out the scissors and your credit cards and perform what Elder Holland called some “plastic surgery” (Ensign, June 1986, p. 30).
I am very tight with money. It makes me sick to spend it. I’m all about budgeting. We have talked about budgeting our money for years. We need to get serious and get a budget plan going. I’m grateful that Matt has gone along with what I feel on the money issue. He loves to spend money. He likes his toys, but I think that he realizes that I would be happier if we didn’t spend money on expensive things that we don’t need at the time. I think he’s happy if I’m happy and vice versa. I know that if we live within our means that we will be able to put money into savings and when an emergency comes up we will have the money to take care of the problem.
8. Be a true partner in home and family responsibilities. Don’t be like the husband who sits around home expecting to be waited on, feeling that earning the living is his chore and that his wife alone is responsible for the house and taking care of the children. The task of caring for home and family is more than one person’s responsibility. Remember that you are in this partnership together. Barbara and I have discovered that we can make our bed every morning in less than a minute and it’s done for the day. She says that she lets me do it to help me feel good about myself all day, and I guess there may be something to that. Find time to study the scriptures together, and follow this sound counsel from President Kimball: “When a husband and wife go together frequently to the holy temple, kneel in prayer together in their home with their family, go hand in hand to their religious meetings, keep their lives wholly chaste, mentally and physically, … and both are working together for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God, then happiness is at its pinnacle”.
We need to help each other understand what equal means. I know that for a Man it’s stressful to be the full time provider, but it’s also stressful for a Mother to be a full time Mother. It shouldn’t matter who does what just as long as you’re taking equal responsibility and helping each other. Matt is the priesthood leader in our home, not me. I shouldn’t act like I am, and I am guilty of doing it a lot. I’ve started to ask Matt what he thinks we should do and not just take charge. We started to read scriptures with each other morning and night, which has helped us tremendously. It is the best feeling to go to the temple hand in hand with your spouse, to look over at them during the endowment session, to be with them in the Celestial room afterwards and to just sit down and enjoy each other’s presence and to ponder and pray. Reading the scriptures morning and night together has definitely helped us out.
So in summary:
• Remember the central importance of your marriage.• Pray for its success.• Listen.• Avoid “ceaseless pinpricking.”• Keep your courtship alive.• Be quick to say, “I’m sorry.”• Learn to live within your means.• Be a true partner in home and family responsibilities.
F Burton Howard in a talk of his was talking about silverware and how his wife treated it. He said for years I thought she was just a little bit eccentric, and then one day I realized that she had known for a long time something that I was just beginning to understand. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.
Eternal marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way. I pray that we may see it for the priceless gift that it is. I bear my testimony to you that if you pray and ask the lord to be included in your marriage he will help make it great! I know that if we are doing the things that we are supposed to be doing we will be blessed. I know that if we communicate with our spouses that it will help make a marriage run smoothly. I’m grateful that we were married in the temple, and that we are able to return. It’s another goal of ours to start going more often even if it’s once a month you will be blessed. I’m grateful for my father in heaven for blessing me with such a wonderful family, and comforting us and helping us through our trials. He does hear and answer our prayers. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Our Yard is a jungle of weeds

When we were out jumping with the girls I looked around our yard and realized it was a jungle and needed to be cut. Secretly I was excited, I love mowing the lawn. Seriously!!! It's a great workout! We had just one problem we had to go get the lawnmower out of my Mom's storage unit. I wanted it done this weekend so we went and got it Friday night. Saturday came and I was excited to mow and get our yard looking better. I felt lilke white trash! We got it done though. We still need to get weed killer to kill the dandylions. I hate those things! They are a pain.

Here is the yard about a month and a half ago

Here is what it looked like the day before we mowed.

I didn't take pictures of after we mowed. I won't take pictures again until the dandylions are gone!!!

Trampoline Fun

Last Friday we had a date on the Trampoline with the girls. McKenzie is always begging us to come out and jump with her. She loves it when we do!!! Well Friday was a really nice day, so when Matt came home from work we went outside and played with the girls on the tramp. We had so much fun! Matt loves to make the girls hair go staticky. He would drag them in circles by their feet until their hair was really sticking out. It was fun to see their smiles! They love being outside, and I"m so glad that they do. We just need to put up some gates so they don't go into the front yard and then we are free to let them wander the backyard without us having to check on them every 2 seconds!!! No they actually do really well staying in the backyard, but you know how kids are they see or hear something and have to go check it out. Just today McKenzie was chasing a butterfly around the backyard and she chased it to the front yard or she would have if I hadn't been watching her!

This is McKenzie's Staticky hair! She loved it as you can tell!!!

This is Madisynn's staticky hair, the best picture that we could get because she wasn't cooperating!

McKenzie doing a sit

McKenzie loves to bounce Madisynn!

Our cute little family somewhere inbetween all of the jumping!

Christmas & Birthdays

It's been another really long week or two. I think it's been about that long since I wrote on here. Anyways we had some more Christmas!!! We got our stuff belongings from out of military storage. It's been almost a year since we got out. It's amazing what you forget you had. Some things I was extremely happy to get back. For instance our nice huge comfy bed!!! Oh how I've missed it! Other things I didn't miss at all and can't remember why we even kept it. Funny how that happens. Anyways we had a lot of fun opening the boxes to see what we had. The girls had a lot of fun to see what toys they had. Boy we need to downsize on the toys. I didn't think we had that many. De junking is definitely on my to do list. Now only one thing was broken, and one thing was missing. The thing that was broken was fragile. Matt had brought me back a little glass heart with a glass rose going through like an arrow from Turkey. He had been deployed and missed Valentines day. It still looks okay, I can make it work. The thing that is missing is a bigger deal. Our love seat is missing. The way the packers wrote on the paper it looked like we only had a couch. We've been in contact with them, and they are looking for it. They said it could take awhile. If I haven't heard from them by tomorrow they will be getting a phone call.

Now on to birthdays. We had 3 birthdays to celebrate this week. First my Dad's which was on the 18th, and the 2 others were McKenzie and Madisynn which was the 20th. My Dad would have been turning 58 this year. Boy how we miss him. We decided that we would go to the cemetery and bring cupcakes and sing happy birthday to my Dad. It felt good to do that! I'm sure my Dad was right there enjoying every minute of it! I love my Dad so much. Happy Birthday Dad!

These are the cupcakes we left for him!

Yesterday McKenzie and Madisynn turned 4 and 2. We celebrated their birthdays on Saturday. We had a princess/baby party. It's hard to believe I have a 4 and 2 year old. They are 2 years, 2 hrs, and 2 min. apart as Matt would say!

This is McKenzie's cake:

This is Madisynn's cake:

These are the birthday girls getting ready to blow their candles out! Princess McKenzie got a Belle doll, a Belle 24 piece puzzel, a princess game, a cinderella learning to read book, and a sleeping beauty dress. My Mom gave her the book and the dress. Here are some fun pics of the princess herself!

Here are some fun pictures of Madisynn. Madisynn got 3 little Mariposa faires for her cake because we couldn't find a cute little baby to go on her cake. She got a baby doll stoller, shoes, crackers, and a potty chair. So exciting!!!

Lastly a picture of the princess game board, and my sweet husband for playing the game with a bunch of girls! He even became a princess first! Ha Ha!!!

I thought it would be fun to go down memory lane for a minute with their Labor and Deliveries. First McKenzie:

I was so excited to finally be pregnant. I was fine when I first found out, and then the sickness came. I was always nauseous, and I just didn't feel good. I had an incident at 35 weeks where I was contracting and feeling so awful. I went to labor and delivery because I wasn't sure what to do. They monitored me checked me to see if I was dilating, and had me do a urine sample. It ends up that my protein levels were way low, and I was dehydrated. They kept me overnight. They wanted to determine if I had Preaclampsia. I barely slept that night, I was miserable. I looked like death warmed over the next day from what our friend Larry said. By the night time I was feeling better, and they determined that I was borderline preaclampsia. So I went home. I started to feel better for the next few weeks and then I felt crappy again. When I went to my Dr appointment he was really worried because my blood pressure was really high so he sent me to Labor and Delivery to have a stress test done. I had to have another urine sample done. I also had my membranes stripped. The doc also wanted me to take a container home and do a 24 hr. Urine sample to see how my protein levels were. This was at about 39 and a half weeks. I can't remember all the details, but I know that I started to contract a couple hrs later, from them stripping the membranes. They hurt, but they stopped. Bummer.... Anyways did the urine test for them and had to wait for my next Dr appointment. So I go to the Dr appointment on my due date the 19th of April expecting to see that I was dilated. I was barely dilated. I was so mad, and sad. So I got dressed and we left. I was in tears when we left and went right home. Apparently though the doc still wanted to see me. She had paged over the hospital intercom for me to come back up to the OB clinic. We didn't here it because we were in the parking lot. So we got home and right after we walked in the phone rang and it was the Doc. She asked why I left and I said I just really wanted to have my baby today. The doc said well I think we could do that if you want. We determined that you have preaclampsia so we could induce you today. I was scared, but excited! It was finally going to happen!!! So they induced me and it was a long hard labor, it took forever to progress and they had to break my water. The epidural didn't really take. At first it did for about an hr. I was grateful for that hr. Then it was finally time to start pushing. I pushed for an hr and a half and little McKenzie Ann was born at 4:14 on April 20th. I was exhausted and had a long recovery. I was grateful that it was all done!

Here are some pictures of McKenzie when she was born and a video of both of us after she was born. I was so exhausted enough said. Thanks Alysha for taking the pics, and thanks Heather, and Alysha again for being there with us. It was an experience that will never be forgotten!

Isn't she beautiful!!!

Next Madisynn:

Madisynn I was only sick in the beginning thank goodness! I had an incident at about 13 weeks. I had gone to hospital with a friend who's daughter had to do some tests for bladder infections. She had to have a catheter put in her to do these tests. My friend had told her daughter that I knew what it felt like to have that done, so her daughter wanted me to come too. So we go, I was feeling fine. We get called into the room. They are getting everything ready to go, and then it comes time for the catheter. I don't know what happened for sure, I know I wasn't even looking, but I passed out. I hit my forehead and my lip on the floor. It was painful. I had everyone pretty scared. When I came too, I realized that I had never seen so many Dr's. before! Apparently I was out for a little bit longer than they would have liked. The doc that was in the room said that she was about ready to call a code blue or something like that and start doing CPR. It was so weird, and scary. They took me to the ER to do some tests. Everything was fine, it's just I can't handle medical issues. The rest of the pregnancy went well. I was healthy and so was madisynn. The doctors were kind of worried at my 36 week appointment though because Madisynn was measuring really small. They scheduled an Ultrasound to see what was going on. It turns out that I have a Bicordinate Uterus, which means it's tilted. So Madisynn looked healthy plenty of fluid in all the pockets. They weren't too worried after that. I went into Labor on my due date April 20th. It was so fast and painful. It was SCARY!!! I wasn't sure if I was in labor because it felt like when they had stripped my membranes with McKenzie. I thought it was going to die down. Nope I started contracting at about 2 P.M. I decided to call some friends to make the time go by for about an hr and a half. When Matt came home I started to cry because I hurt so much. He called Labor and Delivery. We left to go drop the girls off with a friend and booked it to the hospital. We made it up to Labor and Delivery and they put me in the testing room to see if I was in labor. When I'm in labor I don't feel the stomach contractions, I feel the back labor. The nurse when she was putting the straps around my stomach felt the contractions and said wow those are some strong contractions! In my head I was like you think? Duh!!! I hurt to much to say it. So we were in the room for about 10 min. I was praying that my water would break, and walla one very hard hurtful contraction and it broke. I remember saying it so calmly: Matt my water broke. Matt runs to go get a nurse, and the nurse comes in and has the nerve to ask are you sure you didn't wet yourself? I was like I'm pretty sure. So they tested it to see. No urine, so they checked to see how far I was dilated. I was at a 7 they asked what I wanted for pain, and I said GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL! Then the doc mid wife nurse I don't remember what she was came in. I told her I needed to push. She asked me what number of child this was for me. I told her 2 and she said I believe you. She checked me and I was at a 10. No time for an epidural. They wheeled me over to another room and had me start pushing. I was starting to hyperventilate and they had to remind me how to breath. Also I couldn't relax my legs enough to bend them so I could push because I hurt so bad. They had to hit my legs to get them to bend. I think I pushed for 5 min and little Madisynn was born at 6:16 p.m. April 20th. They barely got the IV in my hand when Madisynn was born. I was supposed to have some antibiotic in my I.V. because I had strep B. They didn't have time to get it to me so Madisynn was born with it. They had to take her to the NicU overnight to do tests on her. We had to stay in the hospital for 48 hrs to make sure she would be okay to come home. She was fine and came home at the 48 mark. It was so crazy having 2 very opposite experiences with pregnancy labor and delivery. I'm scared out of my mind to have another baby, and not for just that reason, but for a few others. I'm grateful to have my 2 beautiful little girls! They are a lot of fun, and they keep us VERY BUSY! Happy Birthday Baby girls!

Here are some pictures taken by Shaina on my due date with madisynn. Thanks shaina you did a beautiful job!

This one was taken right after I had her. I think it's such a dramatic difference from when I had McKenzie! All I know was that it was instant that the pain was gone. It was a nice feeling.

This one is of My Mom holding Madisynn the day after she was born

Matt liked to put her in the doll stroller and take pictures! I can't believe she was that small!

Good Wards

So today was our first time meeting in our new ward. Wow they really made us feel welcome!!! It felt great to feel like we belonged! I don't want to be negative here, but I just have to rant and get it out of my system.. We didn't feel welcome at all in our ward in Stansbury, well I started to feel welcome about a week before we moved, matt never did. We made the effort to go to ward events, heck I even played Volleyball once a week. I had fun, but I never felt like I had anything in common. I can't believe the night and day differences from our new ward to this last ward. When we moved in the membership clerk and another guy stopped by to see if we needed anymore help. We didn't, but they stayed to chat and introduce themselves and talk about the ward. In the other ward people just drove by without a glance. After Sacrament meeting today people said hello, introduced themselves, helped us to where we needed to be, etc... In the old ward Sacrament meeting was last, we were confused, and fineally the elders quorem president directed us where to go. In this new ward when we made it to class people again were so friendly and lighthearted it was nice. They welcomed us, and you know what I don't remember being welcomed into sunday school in our last ward. Relief society in this new ward, is so little. I like it that way. Again they were so friendly, they actually asked me to tell a little bit about myself. When that happened I wasn't scared to do it. I hate having the spotlight on me, and today I didn't mind. Getting back on track....In the other ward that never happened. We were late because we didn't know Sacrament meeting was last. So after getting our kids where they needed to be we made it to where we needed to be. I get really nervous when meeting new people, but I smiled when I walked in tryed so hard to be positive. After relief society one of the relief society members quickly came to see who I was. It was very quick. It was aweful you guys, I have never felt so unwelcome in my life. In this ward it was excessive niceness and warmness. Matt was so excited as well to feel like he belonged. It was great to feel like I was back in my old home ward growing up, in my home ward when my family moved to south jordan, in the fairfield ward when Matt joined the Air Force. It was nice to be noticed that's all!

On a side note I have to say Thank you to those that were in the Fairfield ward for being our family while we were so far away from ours. I will continue to feel this way, and hold you all so dear in my heart. You were all such great examples!!! Hugs to you all. =)

Now what I know what it feels like to belong again, I'm going to make an even bigger effort to say hi to people, and introduce myself. It felt aweful to feel like we didn't belong, that we were different for what reason I don't know. I don't want anybody to feel like that, so we will need to step it up. Wish us luck, and pray for the spirit to be with us and to guide us.

I love these shoes!!!

I absolutely love shoes, I would have a ton of them if it wasn't for my ridiculously wide feet! My feet are so wide and my toes are practically nonexistent that I have a hard time finding shoes to fit me comfortably. Well when I was out shopping for drapes and accessories we saw them. We were in the checkout lane at walmart and their they were right by the aisle. Somebody decided they didn't want them and left them there. We commented on them. My Mom asked what size they were. I said they looked like an 8 or so. We looked and yep they were my size. My mom told me to take my shoe off and try it on. It fit perfectly, and she said it made my foot look tiny! They cost $ 15! I bought them, and am so grateful I did. It felt good to buy something for myself! Thanks Mom for pushing me to do it!!!

Computer up and running

The computer is up and running hoorah! I missed you sweet computer!!! Anyways Thankyou to all of you who posted comments on the last blog. I really appreciate all of your well wishes and advice. It's so exciting to be able to decorate a home. I know you can't do everything at once, but I've had several sleepless nights thinking about it. So many improvements that will be our own touch is so exciting and new. The first step to decorating our new home was drapes for the living room since their was no blinds or anything in the window, we decided we would like some privacy! I wanted something classy elegant, pretty. I went with my Mom because this is all so new to me. I've never picked out drapes, and I needed a womans opionion and who better than a Mom! So we went and it took quite awhile to find what I wanted. I had to buy just one Panal, and one sheer panal to see if it would go well with the carpet and the paint. It was a go, and we went and bought the rest of what we needed to make it complete. So here is the finished product.

And here are some random pictures of the living room after we were done.

I think we did a good job! Thanks to my DH for doing most of it! Love you!!! The next step was to get some color in the kitchen. We aren't quite ready to start painting quite yet, so we got some cute curtains to go over the kitchen window. So here it is
I should have taken some pictures of the kitchen, but I wasn't thinking. I'll do it another time. Next decorating project is the family room window. Their isn't any blinds or cover in that window either. I like my privacy people!!! We are trying to save money so I picked out some cheap sheets and my mom is going to hem them and make them so we can hang it up in the widow as curtains. She did it to one of the widows in her place and it looks really nice. Eventually we will get some nice blinds or drapes to cover the window. This is so Exciting!!! Stay tuned =)