I have been just feeling like crap lately. The past couple of weeks anyways. Last Wednesday and Thursday were the worst days out of the couple of weeks. I spent a lot of the day Wednesday crying, and even more of Thursday crying. I didn't want to bother my friends Allyson, and Stephanie at gymnastics, so I tried to go with a positive attitude. Hoping that they wouldn't notice that I wasn't OK. Allyson and Stephanie are both energy healers, and so they spend a lot of the time talking about their sessions that they have done. I was OK with that. I didn't really have a lot to say since I'm not and energy healer. Then the last 15 minutes Allyson turns to me and says "so enough about us how are you doing Karen?" She totally caught me off guard. I looked into her eyes and I just knew she knew that I wasn't feeling good. I just shook my head and started to cry.
I told her what was going on. The main thing I was feeling was that I didn't feel appreciated for the things I do for others. I tend to get attached to my family and friends. I get excited about the things they do, and want to help promote it. My good friend Becca has written two books. They have really done well. I wanted to help her in some way. I shared on facebook her books, and talked them up. She is in the middle of a blog tour with her book so that has kept her busy. She is just busy and I know that. The thing that was really bothering me is that she wasn't answering my texts. She does this a lot, but it was more than she usually does. I just started to get bogged down wondering is she was mad at me, wondering if I was being annoying, wondering if I was even her friend. I know that is ridiculous to even think, but that is just who I am. I am a sensitive person. I wasn't feeling appreciated or acknowledged. I felt pushed aside like garbage, like I didn't matter.
Then the whole incident with Lisa at my crossing last Monday. Again I felt stupid, pushed into the background like I didn't even matter. I have had that happen a lot. I don't like it. I also got a call from my Mom telling me that she was going to go visit my Sister Kate. May 4th - 11th. She was letting me know that she wanted to celebrate my birthday which is the 11th on the 12th. I kind of detached from the conversation because I was upset because I thought I heard she wasn't going to be back until the 12th. Matt had already arranged for my Mom to watch the girls on my birthday so he could take me to a piano guys concert. We've had it planned for 2 months. Again I felt like I didn't matter, and that I was garbage. Also I have been feeling like I didn't belong anywhere either. It's not a good feeling to have. I told Allyson all about what had been going on.
This is when the impromptu mini healing session started. Allyson tested my energy to see if I needed any oils. My energy was saying that I needed some Lemon. She had some in her purse and gave me a couple of drops to rub on me. Then she pulled her affirmation cards out of her purse and had me go through them and pull out the ones that really popped out at me. I pulled out a lot. Then I was to turn them over and read out loud what each card said. After I finished Allyson asked me how I was feeling about my body. I broke down crying again and said awful. She knew it because I drew out 3 affirmation cards dealing with my body appearance, and health. I can't remember what all of them said. I know there was one about forgiving myself.
Stephanie asked me if she could ask me a question. She told me that I didn't have to answer if I didn't want too. I said sure. So she asked why I would need to forgive myself? I didn't know. Allyson eventually figured out that my issues were all about self worth. Allyson tried to clear the issues. My energy was resisting and wanted Allyson to do a timeline of my self worth issues. She told me that I had issues every other year starting with the year I was born. Then she was able to clear it. Allyson was also able to tell me that it was a generational issue on my mom's side that I had inherited. I can't remember how many lines back. Allyson was able to clear that too.
We talked more about my weight issues. Stephanie was amazed that I had lost 67 lbs. and that I had kept it off. The weight has slowly started to come back on though. It's frustrating. Stephanie asked me if I had always been heavy, if I had always struggled with my weight. I replied saying that I started to get heavy in about 4th or 5th grade. I had another memory pop into my mind this past week. I was stressing about classroom placement for McKenzie and Madisynn. I was worried about what teacher they would get. I had a bad experience in 2nd grade. My teacher was very mean, and she didn't care if she hurt your feelings, embarrassed you. My experience was sad. Imagine in your mind 3 2nd grade class rooms combining together to watch reading rainbow. The lights are off, the opening song on the show starts. I start to whistle quietly along with it. My teacher yells out who is yelling? I slowly raised my hand. She yells at me to go out in the hall. Then she comes out and yells at me some more. I stood there and cried. I think she had me stand out there during the whole show. I pretty much have blocked out that whole year. I think that is where a lot of my issues started. I was already shy, but I think that situation made it worse.
I can't remember what Stephanie said exactly, but I think it was somewhere along the lines of I was feeling like it wasn't OK to shine and be me. It wasn't OK to have attention. Some pretty sad self worth issues. Allyson told me that I needed to go back from my other healing sessions with her and say the affirmations that were on them. I told her that I was already doing that every day. I knew they weren't helping me because I hadn't been feeling it. I was vibrating at a 1. Of course they weren't helping me. Allyson asked me if it was starting to feel like it was a routine, like i had to do it? I said it was feeling that way. She then told me that she had been doing I Am statements. She says I Am statements are pretty powerful. So she suggested that I start repeating I Am statements out loud. Do that and write in my gratitude journal each day.
Allyson was able to get me vibrating at a 7. I felt so much better. I really felt as though a load had been lifted off of my shoulders. We got all of the negative energy that was clinging to me from other people off of me. I was instructed that I should do the aura fluff, and the zip up daily to protect myself from other people clinging to me. As we were walking out to our vehicles I said thank you. I told Allyson that I didn't want to intrude and ask for help. That I had promised myself that I wasn't going to bring up my problems. I told her that she knew me too well, and that she could read me like a book. She told me that she knew I wasn't feeling good the second she saw me. She said she could see it in my eyes. I'm glad I have a friend that knows me so well, and is bossy in a good way to get me to talk.
Since Thursday I have been saying I Am statements, and writing down things that I am thankful for. I am also looking for uplifting quotes and sayings that can help me. I found a quote a little while ago that had resonated with me. I was glad to find it as I was flipping through my journal of quotes.
I am a shining star, and I surround myself with people who encourage my brightness. - Cheryl Richardson
It is OK for me to shine. I am shining.
I have been doing the Aura fluff, and zip up. That seems to help. I have tried to avoid facebook well the computer as much as I can each day. I really get bogged down, and start to feel worse about myself when I'm on there for long periods of time. My Mom gets back into town on my birthday. She will be able to watch the girls. Hooray! I have talked with my friend Becca, and I feel better about the whole situation. She is just busy. I can't let it get to me. I don't like that I had let my energy get down, and that I was attracting these bad situations, or problems.
I'm a sensitive person who tends to take on other people's problems, stress, worries. Yes welcome to my world. It's full of emotion and it is exhausting. Allyson keeps telling me that me being sensitive is a gift. I just need to learn how to use my gift without taking the problems onto my own shoulders. I'm working on that. Really I am.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Impromptu mini healing session
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Going private
I decided to make my blog private, because I decided their is just some things I didn't want everyone to read. I felt like I couldn't really write what was on my mind. I think that is pretty sad. This is my journal, I should be able to feel like I can write whatever I am feeling and not feel bad about it. Another reason why I chose to make my blog private was I'm trying to move on in my life. Let go of the past. It's been very difficult for me.
I had a really close friend from our days at Travis AFB in California, when Matt was in the military. Her name is Heather Bryant. We are no longer friends, and we probably never will be friends again in this lifetime. Heather was the first friend I made when we moved to California. I had noticed her right off because she was pregnant. After a few Sundays of going to church I wanted to talk to her, but I was scared. Making friends has always been difficult for me. I am an introvert, and it's just way out of my comfort zone to start talking to people I don't know.
I can't remember if it was in Relief Society on a Sunday, or at a Relief Society activity where we happened to just be in the same group. It was probably an activity. Anyways we started talking, and I found out that she was very close to having her 3rd child, and that her husband was deployed. I don't remember anything else about it, but I felt like we clicked. I remember thinking she would be fun to get to know better. I was lonely, and needed a friend.
I think it was the next week when she called me up and asked me if I would watch her 2 kids Maddalin and Billy while she went to her OB appointment. I told her I could and she dropped off her kiddos. After that day we became fast friends. We started talking more, and hanging out more. I helped her a lot with her kids and so did Matt. He helped do things that her husband Adam would have done if he had been home. We got so close that her kids well Billy started calling Matt Dad. We always corrected him when that happend.
Anyways we did almost everything together for about 2 years. She was even in the delivery room helping Matt and I when I gave birh to McKenzie. She threw me an awesome baby shower right before. She spoiled me. She was my soul sister. I would do anything for her. Then back in 2009 I read a post on myspace, or facebook, can't remember which one saying that they were leaving the church. My stomach dropped. I can't remember the exact reason that they decided to leave, I just know it had something to do with Joseph Smith. Adam was asked to speak in Church and they assinged him a certain topic. He researched it and talked to heather and they decided to leave the church over it. I don't even want to know the exact reason, because I know that the Church is true no matter what. I don't want to have any questions in my mind about it at all. That's probably why I didn't read or listen as closely as I should have.
So when I read her post about leaving the church I called her up to see what had happened. That I would support her decision, and love them no matter what. She was relieved to hear that. Then that night when I went to bed I couldn't sleep. I was worried about the decision Heather and Adam had made to leave the Church. I had to do something to see if I could change their mind. So bright and early I sent an email with my testimony. It didn't go well. We started having less to do with each other. I think that I would have kept up on it more, but 2009 was the year that I had set a goal to lose all of my weight.
I was so focused on exercising and eating right that I didn't really talk to her. It wasn't until after I had reached my goal weight that I read a post on her facebook page about her giving away her temple clothes and how she should do it. I commented on it saying that she could mail them to me and I would take care of them for her, so she wouldn't have to worry. She didn't reply back. Then shorly after I went to check up on her and I was no longer friends with her on facebook. I thought it was odd and a mistake. I instantly sent her a friend request, and an email . She ignored the friend request and email right away. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me. It hurt bad, real bad.
I shed a lot of tears over heather and her family for a few months. I even had my Brother Quinn give me a blessing. I was told to focus on the people that were in my life now. That was hard to do. I hold on to the past. I have sent a few emails over the past couple of years. Telling her that I was sorry, that I hoped they were well, thanking her for her friendship and all that she had done for me, wishing her a happy birthday, and merry Christmas. Not once did I ever get a reply back. There was a punch to the gut each time I wrote. I would shed a lot of tears each time too. The hardest part is that we have the same friends on facebook. She will comment here and there, and each time I see it I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Another hard thing is that she reads my blog, and has my blog linked to her blog. How I know this is I had live feed jet and I could tell when she visited my blog. Then I would click on the link on the feed jet to her blog and start reading. My blog was on her blog. Again my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest each time I saw that she had visited my blog, and then me going to hers and reading what was going on in her life and that I wasn't a part of it.
I was getting sick of it. Something had to change. I wasn't sure if I was ready to move forward quite yet. It wasn't until Matt did something, and I found out something from my friend Allyson. First Matt sent Adam a friend request on facebook. Adam accepted it. Matt was thrilled that he had. He told me right away when adam had accepted it. I said hey maybe you should try adding Heather again. She shouldn't have any beef with you. So Matt did. This same day Allyson came to our house with her daughter Peyton to have a play date. I found out that she was pregnant and about 3 months along. I knew that this wasn't what Allyson wanted. Her youngest is Peyton, and she is Maddie's age. almost 7. She was done having kids. We talked about this for awhile. Right now Allyson's family is living in the basement of her husbands parents house. It is cramped. They have nothing for a baby. She just started doing energy work. She was worried about where they would be living, how she would still do sessions with a baby, and a lot of other things.
The next morning was when I found out that Heather had denied Matt's friend request, saying she didn't know him. Because she did that it blocked Matt from being able to add friends for a week or so. It really made him feel bad. She really shouldn't have any problems with Matt. He didn't do anything or say anything to her trying to get her to change her mind about leaving the church. I was mad. I knew that I was done, and it was time to let it go and move on. I found a quote this same day that really helped me realize it even more.
I am excited to share the things I no longer love or need with people who will love or need them more.
- Cheryl Richarson
I had gotten rid of all of our baby stuff a couple of months ago. The only thing we had left was the nice port a crib that Heather had given us at McKenzie's baby shower. I was holding on to it because it was the only physical connection I had left with her. It wasn't doing me any good keeping a hold of it. I had this idea pop into my head that I should give it to Allyson. They had nothing for their baby, they were just going to put the baby in a laundry basket to sleep. I didn't want them doing that when we had this nice port a crib sitting here not being used. I talked to Matt and told him my idea. I told him that it wouldn't mean that we were done having kids because we had gotten rid of everything. He was good with what I had to say and agreed that we should give the crib to Allyson.
I spent the next day cleaning it and getting ready to give to her at gymnastics that night. I was so excited to give it to her, and see her reaction, and to move on in my life away from Heather. I had posted the above quote on facebook and said that I had a friend that could use something that I had that I no longer loved or needed. After gymnastics I told Allyson that I had something in my car for her. She perked right up and said "oh am I the friend?!" I laughed, and said so you saw the post then! She was so grateful when I gave it to her. I told her that I was trying to move on and away from Heather. I told her that the crib was the last thing really connecting me to her. Allyson has heard about Heather before so she knew who I was talking about. She asked me if I wanted the crib back when she was done with it. I teared up and said no. I'm done. I'm tired of worrying about if we will ever be friends again, worrying about her and her family. Trying so hard to be connected. I'm done. It felt good to say that.
That night I made my blog private. Heather has no connection to me, and I have none to her. I don't know her blog address so I'm not tempted to go and look. If we are meant to be in each other's lives as friends again it will happen when it is time. Not holding my breath. I'm just happy to move on and be free.
Yesterday
Yesterday wasn't the best of days. I wasn't ready to go out in the cold to cross, and I wasn't really wanting to see or work with Lisa. Lisa is one of my crossing partners. I have had a really hard time with her over the past couple of years of crossing with her. I have tried so hard to get along with her, not be bothered by her. I have tried talking to her, saying hi, and bye, waving. I'm done with it all. I have had it with her. She drives me CRAZY! She has snubbed me too many times when I have said hi, or bye or waved. She didn't say or do anything. I don't trust her as far as I could throw her. She has already lied right to my face. She treats me like i'm incompetent. It's awful. I feel like she is always judging me on how I cross. She makes a big deal about everything. She acts like she is superior. I do not like her telling me what to do, and making me feel stupid. I want to reply back saying ok Mom. I really should the next time she tells me that I shouldn't do whatever it is that I'm doing. I follow the rules, and i'm fully capable of crossing a kid by myself across the street. I'm a crossing guard for crying out loud! It's not that difficult. I pay attention. I'm not stupid!
Anyways right off the bat she got me boiling. She starts talking to April, my other crossing partner about what she did over the weekend. That was no problem, more power to her. Then she comes over to show her pictures. Again no problem. The thing that got me boiling was that she totally excluded me from the whole conversation. Treated me like I wasn't even there. It was rude. I felt so uncomfortable and stupid. I didn't know what to do. If it was anybody else I would have tried to get in on the conversation. I didn't feel comfortable doing that with Lisa. I didn't know how to handle it. I wondered if I should stand there looking stupid, or walk away and go sit in the car feeling stupid. I couldn't think. So I did just stand there looking stupid.
I hate being in that kind of situation. It has happened all too many times. Feeling excluded, and not good enough, or important enough are not good feelings to have. Then all throughout the rest of the crossing everytime I had to look at her, or hear her fake voice, I wanted to punch her. I couldn't wait for crossing to get done. When it was time to go I just quickly got my stuff and walked back to my van. I said bye to April and left. I came home feeling angry. I cried. I was dreading afternoon crossing.
When I got to afternoon crossing I got my light turned on and cone set up. I didn't have to interact with Lisa. I didn't know what would happen if I had too. Then right before crossing starts April asked me if I was alright. She said I seemed sad. I couldn't hold it in. I lost it and told her everything. How I felt about everything. She said she could tell that something was wrong that morning at crossing, and wondered if it had something to do with when Lisa came over. Then when Maddie hadn't shown up yet with the mainstream of kids. I had to cross the street to Lisa's side to walk towards the school to see if Maddie was on her way. Lisa was sitting in her SUV. Her windows were down. She asked me what was wrong. I just quickly said getting Maddie as I kept walking. I found Maddie down the sidewalk around the corner feeding the chickens through the fence.
I got her, held her hand and walked back to the crosswalk. Lisa didn't say anything. I didn't look at her. I was talking to Maddie. That wasn't awkard at all. Not! I hate doing that. I didn't want to say anything that I would regret. At the end of crossing I left. When I got home April text me and said Lisa had just text her to see if I was ok. Why I was so off, and sad the whole day. April told me that she didn't know what to say that she said just life. I thought that was a good answer. I replied saying thanks for not telling her, and saying what she said. I also said if Lisa really cared or wanted to know she would call or text me herself. I feel that is true.
I am so tired of walking on eggshells with her. When she has gone through hard times I have always text her to say that I was around if she needed anything. The worst part is whenever I did text her she would reply back saying who is this? That hurts a lot. Wouldn't you think that you would have all of your crossing partners that you work with now in your phone? I'm tired of her always making such a big deal if she is even close to being late, late or not in full uniform. I always tell her it's not a big deal that's why we have 3 guards here. We help each other out, and don't turn each other in. We are supposed to have each other's backs. I don't feel like she has our back at all. She will tattle, and has done so already this year, and in past years to other guards.
I found a quote right before this situation happened:
Who in your life drives you crazy? Do they elicit negative feelings in you? Cut to the chace: Spend less time or let them go? - Loretta Laroche
Well said. I'm taking that advice. I can't completely get Lisa out of my life because I work with her. I deleted her off of my phone, my facebook. I don't have to talk to her unless it is necessary.
This morning crossing went better. I didn't talk to Lisa, I really didn't look at her. I did my job how I felt comfortable doing it. We will see how this afternoon goes, and the rest of the crossing school year. Hoping it goes well.
Happy Birthday McKenzie and Madisynn
9 years ago I gave birth to a calm mellow beautiful baby girl. My sweet McKenzie was born on April 20, 2004 at 4:14 p.m. 7 years ago I gave birth to another calm but a bit more active mellow beautiful baby girl. My sweet Madisynn was born on April 20, 2006 at 6:16 p.m. I can't believe I have a 9 and 7 year old. The time sure has flown! I don't have little toddlers running around any more. I have 2 young ladies. They are the best helpers, and very independent. I'm glad Heavenly Father trusted me and Matt to be their parents.
It's been quite the celebration. We celebrated their birthday all weekend. Friday I took cookies to each of their classes to share. That night we took them to pick out a pair of new shoes for their birthday, and rented Ice Age 4. We let the girls stay up late afterwards to play the wii. At 11 p.m. we tucked them into their beds and said goodnight. Right before Matt and I went to bed I had him blow up some balloons. We scattered them all over the family room floor, and then I got a big bag of cereal that they had chosen a couple of days before. It was blueberry muffin tops. I put a note on it that said Happy Birthday girls! Eat me with milk for breakfast. Then I put it on the floor in front of the Television. I knew that they would be getting up early to watch netflix or play the wii. I wanted them to feel special before we woke up. The sad part is they didn't really play with the balloons, and they didn't open their cereal right away like I thought they would. Matt woke up first and went down to check on them. He got them to come up and eat. That cereal is pretty good! It's not as sweet as cinnamon toast crunch. The girls both said that they liked it better.
This year we gave the girls the choice of having a party, or having more gifts. They of course chose the party, since they have never had one before. Saturday their actual birthday we had a party planned. We told them that they could each invite 1 friend and we would take them all to see The Croods in the nice big movie theater. Then after the movie was done we would come back home and have pizza and breadsticks for dinner. Dessert would be ice cream sundaes. We also decided that the girls would be able to jump on the trampoline for pretty much the whole time that they were at our house. Kenzie and Maddie loved the plan, and were totally onboard with it! They were so excited!
McKenzie invited Keira her friend from school, and Madisynn invited Alice, a friend from our old ward. We picked up the girls at 3:15 and headed to the Valley Fair Mall to see The Croods in the IMAX theater. I snuck in some treats and drinks, and we sat at the very top row right smack in the middle. Perfect seats! The movie started and the girls were totally into it laughing and loving it. It was such a good movie, I'm so glad we were able to take them to see it. After the movie and coming out of the mall I was so happy and relieved to see a clear blue sky. It had been stormy earlier, and I was worried that the girls wouldn't be able to jump on the tramp. They were all excited to know that they would be able to jump and play on the tramp throughout the rest of the party.
When we got home Matt and I got the pizza and cheese sticks in the oven, and made some lemonade to drink. The girls got even more excited when I told them that they could eat their pizza and breadsticks on the tramp. After they were done eating we said that we would give their tummies time to settle before doing ice cream. They were fine with that and continued to jump!
When it was time to do the ice cream we called them all in. We had cookies and cream ice cream, chocolate syrup, carmel syrup, and sprinkles. We put 1 candle in McKenzie's bowl, and Madisynn's bowl of ice cream. Oh and before we served the ice cream we let the girls open their presents from Alice, and Keira. Keira gave McKenzie some peirced earrings, and some bracelts. McKenzie didn't seem to thrilled when she saw that the earrings were peirced earrings, and had started to say something about it. Keira looked kind of said. I instantly said it's ok, it's ok. We can exchange them for some clip on earrings or some other jewelry item. Kenzie perked up instantly when she heard that. I don't like seeing people be unhappy, or feeling bad. It makes me sad and anxious. I'm just glad that we got it figured out. Alice gave Madisynn a hello kitty hat, and McKenzie a hello kitty hand bag. They were really cute!
Then we sang happy birthday, and the girls ate their ice cream. Then went back outside to jump on the trampoline. They all wanted me to come out and do crack the egg with them. I spent about 20 minutes doing that. I asked them if they were having fun and if they would like to stay for another half hr. They all replied that they were having fun and that they wanted to stay. So I told them that I would ask their parents to see if it was okay with them. The parents all said it was okay. The girls wanted Matt to come out and play poison ball with them. And he did until it was time to go. The party officially ended at 8:30. The girls had a blast! I'm so glad we chose to do a low key party. I was nowhere near handling 12 or more screaming girls. I cringe at the thought.
Sunday we had Quinn and my Mom come for dinner to celebrate their birthdays. The girls wanted mini german pancakes for dinner. That's what we had along with sausage, and bacon. I made a dirt triffle cake for McKenzie and Madisynn's birthday cake. I used devils food cake, brownies, oreo cookies, chocolate pudding, cool whip, and gummy worms. It turned out really cute. The girls loved it when they saw it! It sure tasted good, but was very rich. My Mom gave McKenzie a Frankie Stein Monster High Doll, and a big mermaid barbie to Madisynn. They were so excited! We let them open the shoes they had chosen on Friday, and Matt bought a big cookie flower for each of them at the dollar store. They were excited to see their shoes, and the cookie. They loved it!
My gift to them as their Mom I told them that they could be the queens or princesses and that I would be their servant. I would do all of their chores. They liked that idea! Well loved the idea! I spent all weekend doing the things that they would normally do. As happy as I was to spoil them and do everything, i'm also happy that the weekend is over and that we can get back on track.
A couple of days before the girls birthday I took them both aside one at a time and asked them 20 questions about them.
McKenzie's 20 question answers
1. What is your favorite color? Purple
2. What is your favorite toy? Pegasis stuffed animal
3. What is your favorite stuffed animal: Curly the dog
4. What is your favorite thing to sleep with? xflower the pegasis stuffed animal
5. What is your favorite fruit? Banana
6. What is your favorite cereal? Tootie fruities
7. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Pancakes
8. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Ham and cheese sandwich, and go squeeze fruit.
9. What is your favorite dessert? Fudge Brownies
10. What is your favorite drink? Water
11. What do you want to eat for your birthday dinner? Pizza, and German pancakes
12. What is your favorite animal? Cheetah
13. What is your favorite book? Wonder Woman
14. What is your favorite song? God Bless the USA
15. What is your favorite game? Clue
16. What is your favorite TV Show? The Avengers
17. What is your favorite movie? Hotel Transelvania
18. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Jump on the trampoline
19. Who is your best friend? Keira
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Baker
Madisynn's 20 question answers
1. What is your favorite color? Purple
2. What is your favorite toy? Merliah the mermaid
3. What is your favorite stuffed animal? Pink pony unicorns- Sugar, Rainbow sparkley, and Unisparkle
4. What is your favorite thing to sleep with? Teddy Bears
5. What is your favorite fruit? Kiwi
6. What is your favorite cereal? Cocoroo's
7. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfat? Fried Eggs, and Cinnamon Toast
8. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Melted honey and cheese sandwiches.
9. What is your favorite dessert? Candy cookie and cream eggs
10. What is your favorite drink? Root beer
11. What do you want to eat for your birthday dinner? Pizza, breadsticks, and German pancakes
12. What is your favorite animal? Horses
13. What is your favorite book? The farmer and the dale
14. What is your favorite song? The farmer and the dale
15. What is your favorite game? Candyland
16. What is your favorite TV show? Creepy scooby doo
17. What is your favorite Movie? Scooby doo
18. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Do flips on the trampoline
19. Who is your best friend? Alice
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Princess
Oh my girls just make me smile so much! I loved each of their answers. I can't wait to ask them these questions next year!
I love pictures of them hugging! It is so sweet.
My team teacher Cathy Jenkins gave the girls a birthday card and a treat. They were so excited to see her and recieve. I love Cathy! She taught Kenzie last year, and she gets to help me teach Maddie this year. She is fun to work with!
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Easter 2013
Easter kind of snuck up on me. It always seems to be like that. Matt and I debated back and forth about what we should do this year for Easter. I just wanted to keep it simple and remember the true meaning of Easter. I didn't want to do tons of candy, and things that the girls would use once and then be done with it. I kept thinking, and then the week before Easter at church in relief society my friend Terri leaned over and said we should get the SLLEEJ group together and have an Easter egg hunt and dinner. I said that would be fun. So we got together the Friday before Easter Sunday. We brought our eggs that we filled with bouncy balls, stretchy rabbits, and bouncing frogs. We also brought a crockpot of Gumbo soup, and tortilla chips to share. Everyone else brought eggs filled with different things, and soup to share as well. I had a good time talking to everyone especially my friends becca and Dan. I have missed them! Becca has been hiding in her home writing. She has been super busy. I'm glad that she has been writing because she has had 2 amazing books published so far. So proud of her! Anyways it was fun to catch up with them.
Our plans for the next day were to go out to Clearfield and spend the day with Matt's family. I had to plan this perfectly and hope that they all didn't have plans. McKenzie was invited to a birthday party that was being held at the Boondocks in Kaysville. I didn't want to have to spend the day there, or drive back and forth waisting gas. Kaysville is a pretty far distance, and clearfield is about 5 - 10 minutes away. I made arrangements with the Mom of Kenzie's birthday friend to see if they could take kenzie with them. Then we would pick her up after she had been there for 3 hours. Head over to Jason and Rachaels house after that. It worked well in my head, and was hoping it would work out both ways. I was relieved when it did and would work out.
Saturday Matt took Kenzie over to her friends house at 11 so that they could head out to Boondocks and be there already for the party to start at noon. I started the hard boiled eggs which I tried baking in the oven this year. I found that tip out from my friend Brittany at our SLEEJ party the night before. She said the eggs turned out perfect. I wanted to try it. I set my oven to 325 placed my eggs in muffin tins and baked them for 30 minutes. When they were done I put them in an ice bath for 10 minutes. They turned out really good, some were scorched in a couple of spots. That didn't bother me, just as long as the insides were cooked and not turning gray, or runny. I peeled a couple and they peeled easy, not making a huge mess. I tried one, it tasted great, and matt tried the other. He liked it. What a relief to have the eggs done and out of my way.
After doing the eggs I started making the taco soup to bring to Jason and Rachaels house for everyone to eat. When that was done I got everything together in a cooler, got myself ready so we could leave.
Our plan before picking Kenzie up was to take Maddie to the Sams Club in Layton to do a scavenger hunt. All the elementary schools were having a contest to win a tablet for their school. The school that had the most completed stamped papers would win. We took Maddie and she had fun! We had to find about 6 items, and write down the code. We snacked on super yummy samples as went about finding the items. After we were done we took the paper back up to the front and the lady stamped it and gave Maddie a capri sun, and a fruit snack. Maddie was very happy to get a treat!
We left the store and headed to boon docks 10 min away to go pick Kenzie up. We got there and she was just starting to use her $5 arcade card she had received. We let her play the games. Kenzie shared her card with Maddie. What a good sister! We are going to have to go to Boondocks another time, they have a lot of fun things to do. Kenzie said she got to do everything but a couple of things. 1 thing she wasn't tall enough, and the other was minnie golf. Kenzie still said she had a fun time, and i'm glad!
When we finished up the arcade card we left and headed back to Jason and Rachaels house. The kids were so excited to see each other. It had been a few months since we last saw them. It was good to hang out with Jason and Rachael family and Josh and brenda's family. The kids played outside for awhile, and then we called them in to dye easter eggs. They were so excited! Matt and I brought food coloring to do tie dye eggs, and Rachael and Jason provided the easter dye kit. We brought 2 dozen eggs, and Rachael had more than a few dozen. The kids had plenty to dye. We all had fun, and got messy hands from the dye. Some of the kids were faster and finished quickly so they could go back outside to play. Others took their time and were creative. Maddie just wanted to keep putting egg after egg into the dye. She was funny!
After dying the eggs we visited and let the kids play, and then it was time to eat. The soup was wonderful, the fondue Jason made was wonderful, the chips were wonderful. the brownies and cookies were wonderful. It was all wonderful! I love food!
When we were done eating we decided to get a redbox movie. It turned out to be Rise of the Guardians. It was a super cute movie, we all really liked it. Glad we rented it. Then we needed to head home so I could finish preparing my Easter lesson for primary. When we got home we had scriptures and prayers and sent the girls to bed. We were up pretty late getting the girls Easter baskets ready, and my lesson finished. I hid the baskets in the living room thinking that the girls wouldn't notice where they were. I should have covered them up.
The girls woke up bright and early to see if the bunny had come. They found the baskets right away. Darn it, I didn't want to have to get out of bed quite yet. I was so tired. I thought to myself they know better to dig through their baskets. I thought they knew the same rules applied just like at Christmas time. They aren't allowed to start opening presents, and digging through their stockings. I thought they knew. I was wrong! They started taking stuff out of their baskets, and were going to start eating candy. Yikes I quickly called out to the girls in a nice voice and asked them to come into our room. They brought their baskets in so excited, and said look what the Easter Bunny brought us. Darn it I wanted to get pictures before they dug in. I was excited for them, and was trying to not spoil the Easter Bunny secret quite yet and said let's put it all back in the basket how the bunny had it. They didn't argue and tried to put it back in how I had it. They were close, but it didn't look right to me. I moved it around and asked was this how it looked? They replied yes, and had no clue that it was me who filled their baskets in the first place.
We had to get up and take pictures of them with their baskets, and then they could start opening the eggs, and little toys that were in the baskets. They were happy with what they got. They were disappointed to find out that we weren't going to find the eggs that we had dyed over Jason and Rachaels house. We forgot to put the eggs in the fridge when we were done dyeing them. They were out for hours, and they started to stink. We didn't want to risk anything and get sick, so we threw them away. It was sad. I was disappointed too. The girls understood though, and didn't complaine for very long. We told them that we had another egg hunt and that Matt and I would hide them and not the Easter Bunny. We told them that we would do it after they got ready for Church. They quickly ate breakfast and got ready for church. Matt and I hid the Resurrection eggs. The girls found them happily and then we sat down and opened the eggs in order reading about the Resurrection the real meaning of Easter. The girls really enjoyed it.
After finishing we hurried and got my stuff together, and went to Church. The whole Church meeting block was wonderful. The kids in my primary class listened and participated, and really enjoyed what I taught them. I'm so glad! I was able to go to the combined relief society and priesthood meeting and sit with Matt. It was nice. I stayed after for choir practice, and then came home. We had stuff to do. We were going over to my Mom's house to celebrate. She asked us to bring Easter cupcakes. I had baked them the day before after I had finished with the soup. We needed to decorate them. We were going to make them look like peeps. We had fun frosting them and rolling them in colored sugar crystal sprinkles, putting chocolate chips on for the eyes, and candy corns for the beak. They turned out pretty cute, and tasted wonderful!
After decorating them we headed over to my Mom's house to celebrate. She made dinner for us all. Yummy soup and chicken, fruit, rolls. It was yummy. After eating and having good conversation we went down and watched the second Sherlock Holmes movie. McKenzie watched it with us, and loved it because it has the guy that plays Iron Man. Maddie didn't want to watch it, so she watched The Little Mermaid which we own yet again. She is funny!
After the movie we went up and ate dessert. My Brother Quinn brought cheesecake, and cookies, and some other pastries. My Mom also had Easter candy for the girls. We had our peep cupcakes. We had a lot of junk. We barely put a dent into it. We told him to take the cookies left over cheesecake to his friends. We didn't want it! My Mom didn't want it, and neither did Quinn. My Mom tried to give us the candy, but I kind of refused. We had plenty of candy along with the cupcakes. We decided to call it an early night. My Mom had work the next morning, Quinn wanted to be able to get to bed at a decent time so he would actually wake up in the morning and exercise. We were tired, and I was feeling kind of blah. We said our goodbyes and left. Easter was wonderful. I'm grateful that we were able to have the fun, and the candy, but I'm even more grateful that we got to celebrate our Savior and his Resurrection.
Easter at Jason and Rachael's house:
Easter at our house:
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
March facebook
Going to have a Breaking Dawn marathon today at
my Mom's house. Matt hasn't seen the second one yet. Can't wait to see his
reaction on the twist on part 2. It's going to be totally awesome!
March 4, 2013:
Feel better and refreshed today. Yesterday was
not the best of days. I don't like feeling like how I felt yesterday. I have
been liking being a positive person. No more Debby Downer. Today I had some
alone time away from my house. I went and got my haircut. I want a hair style
similar to Emma Watsons short pixie cut. I love Emma Watson, she is cute, and
classy. I loved how it turned out, and it feels nice to have it cleaned up!
Then I went shopping. Found a really cute skirt, that I have been picturing in
my mind. I know that I was led to it, and I'm so grateful!I can't wait to wear
it!
The more submissive we are to God, the more
grateful we can be in our challenges. We can trust that under any circumstance,
He has our best interest at heart. We will not always understand His ways, but
to trust Him as we are led along through life's lessons brings immeasurable
peace. We can have gratitude for our present conditions, no matter what they
are because it is the lessons of the present that prepare us for the blessings
of the future. -Leslie Householder, Hidden Treasures
I have a funny for you! Picture this in your
mind me in my big bright yellow crossing coat, black snow pants, hoodie hood up
over the top of my head, and my moon boots running like the wind. Why might I
be running with all of my gear on you might ask? My crossing partner
accidentally locked the van with her arm as she got out. I didn't realize that
she had until I closed my door. Whoops! Luckily I
live around the corner, and I had a spare key at home. I'm so thankful for
those 2 things today, plus it felt good to get my heart rate up! I wish I would
have looked people in the eye as I was running just to see their expression.
What is this lady doing? I just thought it was funny, and it cracked me up. I'm
the new flash! There and back in the blink of an eye. =)
Woke up before 6 a.m. with a killer charlie
horse in my calf. Had to jump out of bed to try to walk it out. That was
probably the wrong thing to do, but it starts and you react. Anyways Ouch!
Those hurt so bad. I haven't had 1 of those in a long time. I guess I need more
of one of these things: calcium, potassium, magnesium, sodium, or water. Maybe
I need more of all of them. Hopefully no more charlie horses.
I want my life to be like the Sea of Galilee.
Leslie Householder in her book Hidden treasures gives an analogy of the Sea of
Galilee: cheerful disposition, (excellent climate), productive, prosperous,
makes significant contribution, humble, (relatively "small"), a life
where Christ can perform miracles.
Give and make room for more! Let blessings flow through us, bringing us even
greater abundance. Don't be stingy, and selfish it only brings you misery.
God
has perfect timing; never early, never late.
It takes a little patience and a lot of faith. But it’s always worth the wait. Sometimes we don't get what we have desired
when we want it. Don't feel disappointed, just keep at it. In the end the
reward will be so much better because you were patient. God always comes when
it's the right time.
Matt and I have been married almost 11 years. I
think it's time to take down my wedding pictures and decorations that I have
out. It makes me sad, but we are starting a new chapter in our lives. Maybe
Matt and I should go get our pictures done again. It would be fun to have some
current ones of just him and I! It would be nice to have some current ones of
our whole family.
Have your kids ever asked why they have to do
chores when everything is just going to get messy again? Here is the perfect
question/answer for that: Why do you wipe your bum every day? That is
hilarious!
I got this from The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle (such a good book!)
awww nuts! I forgot that it was daylights
savings time. The stupidst thing ever.....
Today is our ward conference. The choir is
singing Be Thou My Vision. I'm in the choir, and i'm so excited to sing this
song. It's beautiful, and powerful. Music is such a good way to really feel the
Spirit around you. I know the Spirit will be there today. I'm so glad to be a
part of the choir. I love to sing! It makes me feel so good when I do.
I so did not want to come out of my little
cocoon of cozy, soft, warm blankets this morning. I had to drag my girls out of
there beds too. Anybody else have this problem this morning? =)
I lovingly take care of my body. I am in
tip-tip shape.
-Louise Hay Affirmation
I love my body. I want it to function properly. It is so important to get all
of your nutrients, water, daily calorie intake, enough sleep, and exercise.
Treat your body good, and it will treat you good!
Just redeemed our pass of all passes! I'm so
excited! This is the first year we have gotten them. We are going to have a
blast!
I had this weird creepy dream that Maddie lost
half of her bottom row of teeth and a couple on the top row as well. She was
asleep and her mouth fell open and the teeth were just hanging there. Matt and
I started to take them out of her mouth. I wanted to throwup it was so gross
and creepy. I was happy and relieved to know it was just a dream when I woke
up. Yeah I want her to lose her teeth, but not like that!
I remember losing teeth like crazy when I was older
though, but not like that. I remember waking up in the middle of the night a
couple of times and having a tooth fall out in my mouth. I grabbed the tooth
and threw it on the ground. I don't actually remember doing that because I was
so out of it. I assume that's what happened when I felt the empty spot where my
tooth should have been, and found the tooth on the floor at the opposite end of
my bed. I'm so glad i'm not losing teeth anymore!
Today I release the need to blame anyone,
including myself.
-Louise Hay Affirmation
I really like this one! No need to blame. Accept what happens in your life.
Whether it be good or bad accept it and don't blame. Keep your thoughts happy
and positive.
So we got audited and owe money on our taxes
now. We already got our tax refund a few weeks ago. It makes me mad. I need
some advise from those of you who have been audited before. Is it worth it to
appeal it? I just don't want something worse to happen if we do. Please help me!
I have to admit that I am a huge Vampire
Diaries fan. I love the books, I love the show. I love it all! A couple of days
ago I was watching some interviews with the cast members, just because I felt
like it. Normally I don't do that kind of thing. In one of the interviews Ian
Somerhalder the guy who plays Damon (I love him, he does such a good job) said
this: " You don't always win, but everytime you lose you get better."
It really stuck with me, and I really liked how he said it. It is so true, you
do get better and better and better. No where to go but up. =)
Things will get hard! But that's just the
evidence you need to know the reward is just that much closer. Satan is
opposition, and he tends to really give it all he's got right before the
blessing, in hopes you'll give up. Find the good in a bad situation and more
good comes. -Leslie Householder Hidden Treasures.
I'm not going to let Satan get to me, I'm not going to give up. I will
continually look for the good in a bad situation. I want more good to come!
Matt just left to take Kenzie and Maddie on a
daddy daughter date. They are going to eat at Carl's Jr. and going to the Utes
womans final home gymnastics meet. The girls are so excited! The girls love
spending time with their Dad, evenmore so now since they don't really get to
see him during the week. They need all of the bonding time they can get!
I love the ladies I play bunco with! They crack
me up. =)
What a good day today was! We were able to go
to Stake Conference and listen to some really good talks, and testimonies. I
made a yummy pork roast, with mashed potatoes, gravy, cooked veggies, and the
best corn bread ever. My Mom was able to come eat with us, and watched Wreck-it
Ralph. What a cute show, I loved it! Thanks Ethingtons for letting us borrow
your copy! Last I fixed our garbage disposal. My Mom told me a trick that she learned from
Rex a guy she dated a couple of years ago. He is a plumber. My Mom's garbage
disposal was having problems, and he fixed it by doing the little trick she
told me about. Anyways I told her about it while she was here, and she heard
it. She said it sounded just like hers did. After she left I got an allan
wrench and went underneath and loosened something. I was really hesitant to do
it without Matt here. I was scared something bad was going to happen. I'm proud
of myself for trying all by myself and fixing it. Go me! So happy that we don't
have to pay to have it fixed. =)
Today I'm just going to focus on one room that
needs to be deep cleaned. Wash the walls, baseboards, light fixtures, outlets,
fan. I get so bogged down thinking about all that needs to be done, and it
stresses me out. Each day spring clean a room little bit by little bit will do
just fine for me! What a marvelous idea!
Whenever there is a problem, repeat the
following affirmation over and over. It will create miracles in your life.
All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation
only good will come. I am safe. -Louise Hay Affirmation
Man oh man it's getting harder and harder to do
all of the fun tricks on the trampoline that I used to do as a kid. About gave
myself whip lash tonight. Gee whiz!
Every experience in life is merely a moment.
Choosing to surrender acknowledges that there is always a "big
picture" I am now open to releasing the need for approval. - DR. DARREN R.
WEISSMAN
I am now open to releasing the need for approval. Man that felt good to say!
Today is a delightful day. Money comes to me in
expected and unexpected ways.
-Louise Hay Affirmation
I will be so grateful when it does come in the expected and unexpected ways!
Matt has another job interview today. I'm
nervous and excited for him! The feeling of not knowing what is going to happen
is driving me nuts. I pray that the words of what Matt needs to say will be
given to him during the interview. Please say a prayer for him! It would really
help. Thanks!
Something to think about:
As your life continually poses new questions, it also poses new answers—which
cause expansion. As your life presents new problems, it also presents new
solutions—which cause expansion—and All-That-Is benefits from your willingness
to live and consider and explore ... and expand. - ESTHER AND JERRY HICKS
Be nice to others. It spreads!!!
Attract the right people-
You can't expect to draw people into your life who are kind, confident, and
generous if you're thinking and acting in cruel, weak, and selfish ways. You
must be what it is that you're seeking- that is you need to put forth what you
want to attract. - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
March 25, 2013:
When you feel taken advantage of at home or at
work, don't sulk and say things like "nobody cares." Why tell them
the obvious? They don't care. Clearly let them know what you really do want...
it might just get you some respect.
-Loretta Laroche
March 26, 2013:
It is essential for your health to find a few
things every day that you really appreciate. You can make it mundane things:
your shoes, the face of a good friend, a clean bathroom in a gas station. The
more you appreciate, the more good things will be attracted into your life,
including good health!
-Dr. Christiane Northrup
I really need to start a gratitude journal...
Daryl and Darth... Your argument is invalid. Zombies Eat People.
Even if you're unsure or disbelieving, the act
of calling on angels had immediate benefits for those who are ill- as well as
their loved ones.
-Doreen Virtue
I belive in asking angels for help. They are waiting anxiously to help, all you
have to do is ask them. I thank my angels every single day for their help, and
by doing that i'm thanking God for all that he does for me.
Happiness isn't a task to be fulfilled. It's
there in the precious, everyday moments. If you seek it too hard, you'll miss
it.
- Loretta Laroche
1 more crossing to do, and then it's Spring
Break!!! Hooray!!!! It's going to be a mixed week of spring cleaning, playing,
and relaxation. At least that's what I hope it will be.
I don't know who said this: Your best teacher
is the person offering you your greatest challenge.
Whoever said it they are totally right.
The healing of my will begins with the
acceptance of what I have internalized, denied, or disconnected from. Before I
get to where I am going, I have to be okay with where I am. Even when life is uncomfortable,
this is the starting point.
- Dr. Darren R. Weissman
It's official I'm totally obsessed with
zombies, and i'm officially all caught up to the last episode of season 3 The
Walking Dead. I think that I may just be able to get back to normal life again!
LOL It is such an awesome show, not just about the zombies, but how they
survive. I love Daryl in the show, he is my absolute favorite! I hate the
Governor, well loathe entirely. He is a scumball! Thanks Dan and Becca Ethington for
getting me hooked, and for hooking us up with the 3rd season. You guys totally
Rock!
