A tragic week.......

The week my Grandpa died was a pretty sucky week for me.  Sunday the phone woke me up from my very good nap.  It was the executive secretary in our ward asking if both Matt and I could meet with the Bishop.  It's never a good sign when they say that.  It means a big calling.  I have been in the primary presidency as the secretary for a little over 2 years.  I hated it. The whole presidency was so unorganized.  It was Chaotic.  The primary president was like just do whatever.  Ok???  I was like that for 2 years.  I felt like I was doing her job plus mine, and getting dumped on with all of her drama.  It was aweful.  I was glad when they moved.  I thought for sure I would be released.  I was just hoping I wouldn't be primary president.  I had to wait until Tuesday to find out.
Sunday night we were over at my Mom's eating dinner, and we got a phone call at 9 p.m. from one of the councilers in the Bishopbric asking if we could speak the next sunday.  Matt accepted for both of us without asking me.  Like I would say no though so what did it matter.  K so now I was feeling stress.
Tuesday came and I met with the counciler over the primary.  He said we would like to release you.  You have done a great job, and have gone above and beyond expectations.  Thank you, now we would like to call you as the first counciler in the Primary.  I didn't have the greatest attitude, and I tried to hide it.  I accecpted of course because I don't turn down callings.  I went home with a bad attitude.  I cried.  It's not what I wanted.  At least I wasn't the president.
Wednesday the day my Grandpa died was not a good day for me.  I took it really hard. It was good for him, that he was no longer in pain.  I imagined what the reunion must have been like when he crossed the veil to the other side.  I was a little envious, because I would like to see my Dad again.  I hate death, but it a necessary part of life that we must go through.
I decided to go shopping.  It was good.  I wish I could have had more time, but I had to go sub at someones crossing, which I had done for almost 2 weeks.  I had plenty of time to get to the crossing. Turns out though the way I took they had just started construction and their was no way I could turn around.  It took me about 25 minutes or so to go a mile.  I got stuck.  I was crying, and then I had a panic attack because I was late for the crossing.  Luckily 2 guards are stationed their.  I felt so bad.  I made it for the last 10 min which is totally dead.  She was very understanding, and didn't place blame on me at all.
I got to thinking about the things that had happened that week, and felt that there was no way I would be able to speak at church that upcoming sunday.  I called the counciler that asked us if we would speak and told him about what had happened and said I just couldn't handle speaking right now, and asked if I could reschedule.  He was very understanding and rescheduled us to speak 2 weeks after our original date.
I felt more releaved when that was out of the way.  I really couldn't handle 1 more thing.  My Grandpas funeral was the upcoming Saturday.  I loved my Grandpa he was such a good example to me.  It's been very hard to see his health fail the last couple of years.  He was always up and at it doing something.  He could also fall asleep anywhere.  He was one of the best examples to me of someone giving service.  He was always helping somebody.  I know the reunion with My Dad his Son was priceless.  I could imagine my Grandpa and my Dad running to each other with huge smiles on their faces.  It makes me tear up thinking about it.  I love you Grandpa!  You will be missed!
Just so you know things are a whole lot better in this new primary presidency.  It's way more organized.  It's still stressful, but I think I can handle it so much better than before.  Time will tell.  Think positive.